I’ve never been good at being by myself. I don’t like it. I love conversation. I love interaction. I love sharing experiences. I love listening. I have always been of the firm belief that life is better with company.
I’m envious of people that can eat in restaurants or go to the movies on their own. Who can strike up a conversation with anyone they see, and not get awkward. Who don’t feel painfully self conscious when walking alone into a room full of people, searching for a face they recognize. Who don’t need a wingman. Who can truly fly solo.
Except when I’m creating. Playing my guitar: letting the music fill my mind as I work my fingers to the point of pain. When I’m taking photos: exploring the world and noticing things I’ve never seen before. When I’m writing: taking what’s stirring in my head and trying to make sense of it all with words that form sentences. When I’m snowboarding: carving my path and finding a line from top to bottom. These are things I prefer to do by myself (in most cases) but I’ve never been good at real life stuff by myself.
Then, I saw this video. It’s a visual story of a poem by Tanya Davis called “How to be Alone.” Simple, beautiful and moved me in a way I didn’t expect. It changed my perspective.
Watch it. Think about it. Maybe it’ll speak to you as much as it spoke to me.
Photo: Taken with Canon EOS Digital Rebel XTi. Exposure 1/4000 sec. Aperture f/2.8. Focal length 31mm. ISO Speed 200.
Becky being alone honestly is the only way i can think you find the intrinsic purpose of your life. I have always been a social butterfly, but always finding my peace alone and finding inspiration and the ability to become better with deliberate practice of things that will define my future,
Such as communication,leadership, helping others. Meeting new people, music and so many more.
Learning to be alone is a learned behavior , being happy inside will show outside bringing not the best people, but the exactly right people in your life. Check out my blog http://coreybiggs.wordpress.com Thank you for the video
Corey, thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed the video as much as I did. I agree with much of what you’ve said about finding intrinsic value in solitary moments. Like I said, when I’m creating, it’s something I prefer to do on my own, and I’ve very loosely defined “creating” so it can encompass many types of things. I think a lot of people, myself included, still struggle with the visible side of being alone, rather than when we can focus on a private task and be alone. There is definitely a difference.
Over the years, I’ve spent a lot of time being alone. I would say that close to 90% percent of my day is spent that way. That being said, I think what most people are afraid of, is being lonely. There’s a big difference. When you’re into your task, whether that be an art or work, the deeper in you go, the less you are aware of the stuff going on around you.
It’s also important to be comfortable with who you are. For many, me included, that’s sometimes a lot easier said than done. It’s much easier to go to an event when you know the people that are going to be there; seeking the familiar is just human nature.
Nice blog. I’ll remember to stop by now and again.
@sbowmann
Thanks for reading, Scott. Stop by anytime. I think you’re right on with your comment about the difference between being alone and being lonely. Good thoughts.
Becky, I’m compiling a list of reasons I like you. On that list? You think while you snowboard. Wanna ski Park City this year??
Yes, I do. My parents also live in Colorado, so, I’d like to try to get out there for about a week and ride every resort in Summit County if possible.
Snowboarding is my happy place. The only time I didn’t love it was the day I learned. After that pain went away and I got back on a board, I connected with it in a way I never did with skiing. Missed the entire last season because of a knee surgery. Can’t wait to get back on the fluffy white stuff this year.
Back Bowls here we come!!